Sun
by Inge
Summary: Xander's POV. The ending of the world, and Xander muses about the woman he loves most. Mistakes: let me know! Please review!


Title: Sun  
Author: Inge   
Email: inge3000@hotmail.com   
Feedback: Yes please! I love all feedback and because I can't answer everyone who gives me feedback (though I try), I'll say thanks here. So, thank you!  
Summary: A short story, set in the future, that I wrote while listening to Anthony S Head's "Staring at the sun" (from the CD "Music for elevators") A Xan/Buf story for a change, thought I'd give it a try. Perhaps it even works out. Xander's musings about Buffy.  
Sorta my own experience, rewritten in Buffy-style. Guess the person it's really about doesn't have a clue… Lucky enough.  
Warnings: Multiple character's death...  
Rating: G. No sex (for a change…), no harsh language and no other things harmful for young (and old) souls .   
Disclaimer: Character is Joss's, lyrics are Anthony's and the story is mine. Want it, ask it. Though I never say no J.  
Note: I'd like CC, it helps me write! So good and bad things, let me know!  
  
//when I was a child, and I didn't know any better  
I used to stare at the sun for minutes at a time//  
  
Buffy.  
  
The Slayer.  
  
The only woman I loved, and she didn't know. Because I was to scared to tell her the truth.  
I know what you're saying! "What about Willow, and Cordy, and Anya…"  
  
Yeah, I loved them. But it was different.   
  
When Cordy left me, I was broken. But I got over it. She always confused me, surprised me. She was strange, but sweet. The last time I spoke to her she sounded… different. More, mature I guess. When she left to LA to become an actress, she was still sort of a school girl.   
But a few months in LA fighting evil stuff with Angel and Wesley, and she grew up. Anyone would, though. Everyone grows up fast when you live amongst monsters.  
  
Cordy died a hero's death - while protecting LA from vampires. Out of all vampires, Darla got her. It broke Angel. I guess he always had a crush on her, when he realized he couldn't live with Buffy. Haven't heard of him since Cordy's funeral.   
  
Here in Sunny D, you don't get the chance to have a youth when you know about the evil that lives here together with you. I speak from experience.  
  
And Willow? She was more like a sister to me, and I loved her as one. I still do, and she thought about me as a brother. Sort of like the big brother she never had. And she was like the sister I didn't have. She was sweet, and it broke my heart when she turned all evil. She and Tara were such a great couple, but Willow never got over her lover's death. A few months after she tried to destroy the world and I saved her, she killed herself.  
She couldn't live without Tara, and she never found anyone else whom she loved as much.  
  
Then we have Anya. A Vengeance demon, ex-Vengeance demon and again a Vengeance Demon. I guess I loved her most of all. She was special, but I don't know why. It was difficult sometimes, like the time Joyce died… She didn't understand and Willow got a little angry with her, but when you think about it you can understand.   
  
She was immortal, and she never really dealt with death. Not with the people she cared about that is.  
  
She was different, but I lover her. I still do. Guess she thought I didn't, when I left her at the altar. Guess I chickened out But not because I didn't want to marry her. God knows I did. But when the moment came, someone else came to my mind, and I ran.  
  
//Like I was looking at a deep blue sky within a sky  
Someone asked me about her the other day  
And I found myself standing there describing her  
Her eyes - lost in the thought of her eyes  
Such a deep, deep blue ...//  
  
Okay, so not blue but green. Close enough.   
  
This song always reminds me of her. You could literally get lost in her eyes. I did, when I met her on her first day at Sunnydale High.   
  
"Can I have you?"  
  
Stupid me.  
  
But I'll never forget her, she was special. I never really liked Spike, and when I found out what he did to her I could kill him. I wish I did it then, but when I saw her aching, it just didn't matter anymore. All that mattered was that she'd be okay.   
  
I wish I killed him, though.  
  
He got away, like Angel. The two vampires Buffy loved, the two vampires that hurt Buffy. My Buffster.  
  
She died a month ago, together with Giles. She went to visit him in England, but she never came back.  
  
The worst part is that she didn't die fighting the fight. Not a demon, vampire, whatever. A car crash. A stupid, drunk driver hit her in the middle of the night when she and Giles were patrolling.   
  
The doctors said she'd been dead right away.   
  
Giles wasn't hit by a car, but a demon. He did. When the demons heard that the Slayer was dead, they partied. And killed. A lot. I heard that one fourth of London's population was killed by demons. In a week.  
  
Hell broke loose, this time for real. It reached all parts of the world, and obviously Sunnydale, too.  
  
I'm the only Scooby left. I don't know what happened to Dawn, I haven't seen her for so long.   
I guess she's dead, and I doubt I'll have long. But the odd thing is, I've accepted it. After all, what have I got to live for? My friends are dead, and the world is terrified because of all the vampires. S  
  
o I actually hope I don't have much more time. I lived my life, and I wish it'd been a demon-free one. But on the other end, it was one hell of a ride. And Buffy never stopped surprising me, till the bitter end.  
  
//When I was a child, and didn't know any better  
I used to stare at the sun// 


End file.
